


How Beautiful You Are

by neglectedrainbow



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: All The Love, F/F, Fluff, I love these girls so much, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Sweetness, and they love each other, this is the most sapphic thing i've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 11:11:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10359126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neglectedrainbow/pseuds/neglectedrainbow
Summary: Two girls fall in love, and all is well.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this was a prompt from @dearalanabeck on Tumblr, and I hope you all enjoy! this was only supposed to be around 200 words, but oops!

When Alana was growing up, she often wondered what was wrong with her, as perhaps every teenager must at some point. She didn’t wonder if something was wrong with her, but rather what. She watched from afar, distancing herself from it all, soon finding out that it was easier to pretend to be uninterested than to be turned down altogether.

She immersed herself into her studies, piling on extracurricular after extracurricular, hoping that perhaps, perhaps if she could get out of this town, travel far and wide, intern across the country--hell, even across the world--then maybe things would be better, maybe she wouldn’t feel so isolated, so removed.

Alana was the youngest of three siblings, with her two older brothers already in college, succeeding in their own right, and she wondered whether or not she was doing enough. She stood outside of even the outsiders. She started only calling her friends “acquaintances.” She told herself that she’d rather avoid trying altogether than risk being hurt.

She lied.

Two years passed of scratching pencils on paper, late night studying for tests she sometimes felt were pointless. She cried sometimes, late late at night when no one could hear, not because of a broken family, not because of failed classes. Her family was loving, her grades were perfect, she should’ve been on top of the world, and yet? She felt as though her lungs were slowly filling with water; cold, icy, salty water, water that bit at her from within. She cried because she didn’t know what else to do, how else to express this sinking feeling inside of her, this feeling that she may soon drown without knowing why.

And then high school started, and she told herself that this would be different, that she would no longer have just mere acquaintances. So she joined every club imaginable, excelling in every sense of the word. Except one.

She watched as marks began to appear on her classmates’ skin. Ruby red marks, light daisy yellow marks, marks with rainbow lettering or any other color imaginable, marks spelling out the most significant words one could ever hear. They were the marks of a soulmate.

And yet her own skin remained blank.

Her mother told her that they would appear eventually, that she only got her marks at the age of eighteen, that Alana still had plenty of time, and that being late was completely fine.

But she still wondered if this was a sign, a sign of how broken she truly was, a sign of her loneliness, a loneliness that could continue for the rest of her life.

She sat in class, staring forward as the teacher repeated something for the seventieth time, doodling on her notebook paper. Smooth letters. She was driven because she was terrified of failure.

And soon enough tenth grade started, and there was a freshman in her Political Science class, a girl with flowing brown hair and soft skin. Zoe Murphy was her name. They worked together on a project, that very next week, and Alana felt something she’d never felt before, a tingling throughout her heart.

Alana figured out that it was a crush very soon, but she told herself that was all it was, a juvenile crush, and maybe-maybe she thought that sometimes Zoe returned her gazes, looked at Alana with intrigued eyes, with lingering looks that lasted for a little too long. She told herself that it didn’t matter, that Zoe’s true soulmate would soon reveal themselves and they’d both forget about all of these stolen glances.

She wondered if someone like Zoe, someone so seemingly effortless, could ever love someone like her.

Sophomore year passed, as did junior year. Zoe and Alana saw each other less and less. The world seemed close to falling off its axis.

It wasn’t until senior year that Alana saw Zoe again, truly saw her. It was Alana’s eighteenth birthday, and she invited Zoe to the get-together on a whim. She hadn’t planned on having any sort of party in the first place, but her family insisted. She invited a few acquaintances. As the lights shined brightly and the hugs were given plentifully, her heart felt warm, but her soul still felt an air of coldness.

There was a soft knock on her front door.

And there stood Zoe Murphy, and memories flooded Alana’s mind, like that of a childhood friend you can never forget. “Hi,” she smiled.

“Hi,” Alana breathed.

“May I come in?”

Quickly, Alana’s brain restarted, “Oh, oh my God, yes, of course, come right in.” She stepped back, letting Zoe pass. “I’m sorry, I-” _don’t know why I invited you, you’re probably busy with your loads of other, cooler friends, and am I even your friend?_

_I’m sorry I think I may be in love with you._

Alana shook her head roughly, trying to dismantle those thoughts.

Zoe smiled, “I got you something.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

There was a short moment, a moment where their eyes met, a silent understanding of all these years, of everything they’ve been through, of their continual support of one another. The world seemed to stop teetering so rapidly.

She wondered what it would feel like to be loved so truly, so purely.

Zoe cocked her head to one side, and, God...Alana wanted so truly for the openness there to be more than a figment of her imagination; to be a reality. “Could we go somewhere more private?” Zoe asked, her shoulders pushed back, and there’s a confidence there, a confidence that didn’t exist freshman year.

“Sure, of course.” Alana tried not to stumble over herself as she lead Zoe to her room.

Zoe cleared her throat, running her fingertips over the edge of Alana’s bed. She looked down, her hair falling in her face. Alana resisted the urge to tuck it behind her ears. The younger girl glanced back up, offering out her hand, upon which a small package rested, covered in tissue paper. “Here. I-” Zoe stopped herself, seeming to decide against continuing.

Alana took the small present. She opened it slowly, fingertips brushing against the tape-covered edges. She pulled out a small photograph. It’s of the two of them, perhaps two years ago, smiling as Alana’s head rested on Zoe’s shoulder. “This is…” she paused.

“When we went out to that art museum, downtown, to celebrate an A on that PoliSci project.”

Alana nodded, her throat feeling full of rocks. She blinked rapidly, trying desperately to push back the threat of tears. “Yeah…”

“The art there was so beautiful, there was that-that Frida Kahlo exhibit going on, yeah? And all-all I could think of was-was how...beautiful you were.”

Alana’s head snapped up, staring at Zoe. Her heart began to pound.

And Zoe’s eyes were locked with her own, two rich brown eyes meeting. And Zoe smiled, a soft smile, a warm smile. “How beautiful you _are._ ” Zoe murmured. “So beautiful.” And suddenly she was there, right there, kissing Alana with soft lips and warm skin, her hands pressed against either side of Alana’s face. Slowly, cautiously, Alana began to kiss her back, her own hands tracing over the other’s jaw. Smooth motions.

Suddenly, her right arm began to tingle, a pulsating tingle before turning into an excruciating pain. Alana pulled back, grasping quietly. Zoe frowned, her eyebrows pulling together, “Are you okay? What-”

Small purple letters, written in a neat and scrawling script, appeared across her skin. She stared in surprise at the letters, her mind short-circuiting. “Oh, my God!” she gasped.

“What-” Zoe stopped herself suddenly, staring at the words.

_How beautiful you are…_

Zoe lifted her hands to her mouth and Alana looked down, speechless, unsure, questioning. Zoe rested her fingers on Alana’s arm, turning her hand palm-up. On Zoe’s arm, written in silver cursive, were the words...

_Oh, my God._

Alana laughed, suddenly, staring at the words, because she didn’t know what else to do. Zoe laughed, too, her eyes bright. “Oh, my God,” she recited. She looked at Alana’s wrist again. “I-” Abruptly, she pulled Alana into her arms, her body shaking with a mixture of laughing and crying. She was crying? Hot tears pricked at the edges of Alana’s eyes, too, unrequested, and there was a wash of relief, of pure joy, of-of something else that she couldn’t even identify.

Even as those tears fell, those damn tears, Zoe pulled back, and suddenly they were both smiling, grinning from ear to ear, uncontrollably. “You’re the one,” Alana murmured, words she’d yearned to hear for years, words she couldn’t imagine ever saying, words that felt beyond belief.

“ _You’re_ the one!” Zoe breathed.

The world locked into place.

**Author's Note:**

> My inbox is open for more submissions, so find me at @neglectedrainbow on Tumblr, and I'll write a fic based off of your prompt. I take any pairings and subjects.
> 
> Comments give me life, so please please comment below and I'll love you forever. <3 Thank you for reading!


End file.
